In a nutshell

To offset the moodiness of my last post. Today I stumbled across a way to explain paganism quickly and concisely, as compared to mainstream religion.

Mainstream religion - guilt + dragons = Neo Paganism

Enjoy! :-D

Trying hard to understand

Forgive the moodiness. Life is OK overall, but NYC is unseasonably cold and wet this week. Also, the new Our Lady Peace single sounds terrible. *fan girl angst*


Lately I've had some run-ins with people who don't seem happy that I exist. Looking at other social connections with them and working backwards, I can pinpoint a mutual acquaintance that hates my guts. That person spits venom behind my back whenever we end up at the same social events though I make no noise about it. I'm just keeping to myself, why should they care?

To add an extra layer of lame, this person despises me for something stupid I did in a LARP three years ago :-P

(Note to other nerd girls- NEVER date within your gaming group. 9 times out of 10, it ends in disaster. Especially if you are rebounding.)

Since that embarrassing era I've made new friends IRL, continued my career and education, established a side business, bought a home, traveled, tons of awesome ensued. I am respected and cherished by my chosen peers and tribe. And long ago I cut off most of the old gaming group. I don't bother them, why should they bother about me?

So it's seriously disheartening to see that no matter how hard I work to improve myself and my life, gamer drama will return to haunt me years later.

And what happens if this stuff segues into real life? Job, career, relationships? Is this worry just another character flaw I need to work on?


But back to the news that's really bothering me: here's a sample of Our Lady Peace from back when they were GOOD.



Why must you break my heart so, OLP? You were the cornerstone of my angsty adolescence, and now you're all ... bouncy :-P

Don't Pity the Spinsters ;-)

My friend emailed me about this awesome article:
Don't Pity the Spinsters

Yay! It it so awesome to see women taking care of themselves, and their own. In a large swath of our society women are supposed to take care of themselves last. Supposedly a man is also supposed to take care of her, and children are supposed to be grateful and respectful, but when that fails the wife/mother has to pick up the slack anyway.

I agree with the author that if a person has found a partner that truly works and cares in equal amounts, awesome! Unfortunately, lots of people have a hard time distinguishing the differences between a partner and a parasite. Both men and women need to watch out for social/emotional/economic parasites. But when society still tells us we need to get hitched, this can get confusing and depressing.

I really like my life, I take care of myself :-). Well... I'm getting there. At least I have the time and space to listen to myself and fix my problems. It actually saves a lot of time and energy when you're not waiting for someone else to fix things for you.

Some people have not been supportive about this path I'm on. My friends and this author have similar stories. I still think that kind of nastiness stems from insecurity, that weird unhealthy need for people to tear others down. Especially when different choices lead to less miserable outcomes. Insecurity leads to the Romatrix, Neo.


While lurking, I found another article from Charleston that I liked:
A Home of One's Own

After my own real estate adventures, I'm still not quite ready to post advice on it. But I will someday. I totally know where this lady's been, although my situations and plans are a little different. Real estate makes ya crazy.


Now I'm leaving work to hang out with writers, bohemians, and crazy types ON A BOAT!

I.Q. Must Be This High to Ride

I've been thinking on it for quite some time, but kept forgetting I have a blog for this! Duh!

I've heard a lot of people say over the years, men and women, that they want a partner who is "smart." Then I look at how they treat smart people, and/or who they actually go out with, and am confused.

Perhaps more accurate would be, "I'm looking for someone pretty, who is as smart as I am."

Personally, I've been turned on by the brainpower in not-classically-attractive guys, and turned off by the dumb in pretty guys. It may stem from my need to be amused more or less constantly, so I also gravitate towards people who are smarter or wittier than myself. At least I perceive them to be.


Add a dash of geekiness and this leads to amusing moments. Was hanging out at a friend's party, generally chatting with an increasing circle of nerd boys. And not bad ones, either. Suddenly, during a discussion of Lovecraft, one exclaimed:

"I'm, like, an expert on all things Cthulu!"

*Sassy blinks* "Which in total constitutes one short story, where a guy has a dream, carves a sculpture, and then gets shived?"

NERD PENALTY!

Though seriously, Cthulu gets a lot of play for an Elder God only indirectly referenced in 16 pages. How does that qualify him for his own RPG system? I like "The Dreams in the Witch House" better so far ;-)

Whups, my geek is showing. And I'm probably still high on cold meds. This train of thought will probably make a lot less sense tomorrow.


Do you like your "marks" to have teh smart, or teh dumb?

If I could turn back time...

Right now I'm home sick with Captain Tripps :-P. Am pretty sure it's not the swine flu, but I still hate being sick.


If I wasn't quite so addled on cold meds, I might try and take part in this, but for now I'll just post about how awesome it is:

Lessons for Girls

Much savvier lady bloggers than I expounding on lessons they wish they'd learned before they grew up. Hopefully to help influence a new generation of highly awesome women.

The part that struck home for me was this from Lesson 8 "You don't have to be a mom," although not strictly in the vein of reproductive rights:

As a child, I recall adults asking my brother what he wanted to be when he grew up, listening to him sagely, then turning to me and flatly declaring, “I know what you want to be: a MOMMY!” And when I denied this desire, I have always been told, with a patronizing “what-a-silly-girl!” smile, “Oh, you’ll change your mind!” I was told I would change my mind when I grew up; then I was told I would change my mind when I met the right man; then, that I would change my mind when I settled down; that I would change my mind overnight when my “biological clock” suddenly started ticking; that I would change my mind when my friends had babies; even that I would change my mind after I had tenure. When confident assertions of my hidden maternal nature proved inadequate, the appeals to conscience began. I was told that I must have children for the sake of my future old age, for the sake of the human race, for the sake of perpetuating progressive values, for the sake of passing on my own intelligent genes (this last from my mom).

I got similar reactions from some friends when I started this blog project. And some of them aren't my friends anymore. In this way, I also connect pretty strongly with Lesson 2 "Opting Out."

Feelin' the luv ;-)

Sorry for more delays. I have no excuses. But more and more I'm coming to terms with the awesomeness that is being single in NYC. One day I'll have something clever to say about it ;-)

On Tuesday I also had a birthday, and am now officially in my late-twenties. I'd worry about getting old and wasting my youth but, um, for the most part I'm not really interested in people my own age. At least not those outside of my nerdisms.

This year's birthday goes down as another slice of wonderful. It was pretty small and sedate by comparison to other years, but there was an avalance of internet luv for me on my Facebook and Twitter feeds. I was getting universal hugs even before I got to the party, where I was then showered in chocolate.

Now that other aspects of my life are settled back into normalcy, I'm finding it easier to love again. Trust is moving at a slower pace but still coming together. And because it's all friend luv (not romantic) there isn't any weird drama or tension around it. I don't think I've felt this healthy or secure in... years? Ever?


Many sources speculate that "Love is a many splendored thing." So why don't more people act like it? I don't have a S.O. right now, but that doesn't discount the love I get from friends and family. And just because my typical romantic situation is me + 1 guy, that doesn't make it the norm for everyone.

Wow, my sacarine, let me show you it. I've just got a love hangover today, I'll be back to my usual snarkiness soon ;-)

Returned and Renewed

Settling into the new place took a bit more time and energy than I expected, and then I started working on beady bizness stuff, and I lost track of my "Yay Single" blogging habits. Sorry peoples! On the up-side, my new apartment is now absolutely awesome.

I decided to look for relevant articles and books to link, to jump start my habit without having to think too hard today. And then I struck gold!


Quirkyalone, singular insights on life and love. Where have you BEEN all my life?!?!


An exerpt from the article/manifesto that started it all,
People Like Us: The Quirkyalones:

Better to be untethered and open to possibility: living for the exhilaration of meeting someone new, of not knowing what the night will bring. We quirkyalones seek momentous meetings.

By the same token, being alone is understood as a wellspring of feeling and experience. There is a bittersweet fondness for silence. All those nights alone—they bring insight.

Sometimes, though, we wonder whether we have painted ourselves into a corner. Standards that started out high only become higher once you realize the contours of this existence. When we do find a match, we verge on obsessive—or we resist.

And so, a community of like-minded souls is essential.

I can't begin to explain how much this hits home for me. The desire to be spontaneous, not settling for the sake of coupledom, and the strange balance of companionship and loneliness. I think I've finally found a weird lifestyle moniker to cling to. Yay!

Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics is the resulting book, still available at Amazon.

I even took the online quiz,
Your score was 102. Very quirkyalone:
Relatives may give you quizzical looks, and so may friends, but you know in your heart of hearts that you are following your inner voice. Though you may not be romancing a single person, you are romancing the world.


Yay, I've found a home on teh interwebs :-D