If I could turn back time...

Right now I'm home sick with Captain Tripps :-P. Am pretty sure it's not the swine flu, but I still hate being sick.


If I wasn't quite so addled on cold meds, I might try and take part in this, but for now I'll just post about how awesome it is:

Lessons for Girls

Much savvier lady bloggers than I expounding on lessons they wish they'd learned before they grew up. Hopefully to help influence a new generation of highly awesome women.

The part that struck home for me was this from Lesson 8 "You don't have to be a mom," although not strictly in the vein of reproductive rights:

As a child, I recall adults asking my brother what he wanted to be when he grew up, listening to him sagely, then turning to me and flatly declaring, “I know what you want to be: a MOMMY!” And when I denied this desire, I have always been told, with a patronizing “what-a-silly-girl!” smile, “Oh, you’ll change your mind!” I was told I would change my mind when I grew up; then I was told I would change my mind when I met the right man; then, that I would change my mind when I settled down; that I would change my mind overnight when my “biological clock” suddenly started ticking; that I would change my mind when my friends had babies; even that I would change my mind after I had tenure. When confident assertions of my hidden maternal nature proved inadequate, the appeals to conscience began. I was told that I must have children for the sake of my future old age, for the sake of the human race, for the sake of perpetuating progressive values, for the sake of passing on my own intelligent genes (this last from my mom).

I got similar reactions from some friends when I started this blog project. And some of them aren't my friends anymore. In this way, I also connect pretty strongly with Lesson 2 "Opting Out."

S.A.W. day two, part two

So... my co-op deal may be delayed by another month or two, if not canceled entirely. There was a communication problem between BoA and it's attorney for closing, so it had to be canceled. Not sure if we are staying with this bank or mortgage, even though we are in the middle of the deal.

It's still all "maybes" right now. But I say again, please don't apply for a mortgage through Bank of America, evar. They may have been good at it once, but those days are long gone.

I was very, VERY upset when this was all presented to me at the end of the work day, so I couldn't call around to all of the lawyers and bankers to get it sorted out. Like, broke down crying at work upset. And I was supposed to close on the co-op this Thursday.


In light of this week's blogathon, I don't have an s.o. to call up and demand cuddles from when things like this happen. On the other hand, I have parents to call for support, and friends to call for help, and EVEN MORE friends who are promising cuddles and hugs the next time I see them. Srlsy, Wicked Faire is going to be me covered in hugs at all hours.

Hooray! I <3 being single!!! I get all the love I can seek out!!!

Playing Catch-up.

Hay guys, sorry I've been off the radar for a week. I am in the middle of trying to buy a co-op in Queens. Someday I'll put up a whole series of "How [not to] deal with NYC real estate" posts, but right now it's taken over enough of my life. Packing, pleading with bankers and lawyers, argh.

But I can give one piece of advice: DON'T get a mortgage through Bank of America, especially if you're buying something other than a standard house. Especially x2 if it's a co-op in NYC.

BoA sends ALL of their mortgage applications to an office in Tampa, FL for processing. I've had three loan reps at this office in the last two months, not counting all the people on their hotline that try to help me when my loan reps aren't at work.

Because they are in FL and not NY, my dealings with them went something like this:

(Mid December)
Sassy: When can I expect to close on the co-op, if they approve me tomorrow? My contract says late January, but my lawyer says it can be earlier.
Loan rep #1: Sure! We can probably be ready for closing the first week of January.
Sassy: Hooray!

(One week later)
Sassy: So the co-op approved me, and they need a Recognition Agreement form before we can set a closing date.
Loan rep #2: What's a Recognition Agreement? Oh, your old loan rep got sent to another department, after taking a week's worth of vacation and doing nothing with your application. Whatevs.

(First week of 2009)
Sassy: I still need that Recognition Agreement please? Can you send it to me?
Random Banker: From what I see in your file, your case has been transferred again. But that person's manager is very experienced with mortgages, so he'll probably know what you're talking about. Because I don't. What's a co-op?

(Second Week of 2009)
Loan Rep #3 (voicemail): We've mailed the R.A., but we won't say to whom. And then our phones are going to get torn up, so when you try to call back you will be redirected to the Atlanta office. :-P
Sassy's Lawyer: They sent the forms to the bank's lawyer, who sent it to the co-op, instead of to you. Without even looking at them, the co-op's lawyer says they aren't in the correct format.
BoA's Lawyer: We don't print R.A.'s in any other format than ours, so take it or leave it :-P
Co-op's Lawyer: Fine, we'll take it. But it will be another two weeks to get them from the co-op's management office to our law office :-P.

Today, the co-op's lawyer finally got the necessary documents from the bank, but don't have the results of the LIEN search, so I still don't have a closing date. I got approved by the co-op board on December 15th, and I'll be lucky if I close before February 15th. I kinda want to hit things with sticks.

Co-ops are difficult to deal with on their own, but thanks to it's mismanagement and foot-dragging, BoA has stretched my transaction out weeks longer than necessary. To add insult to injury, the interest rates have gone down since we started this long painful dance. If the other parties in this real estate deal can't settle on a closing date before late February, my mortgage offer expires anyway and I have to start from scratch.

I don't know what other parts of the U.S. are like, but if you are investing in something other than a standard house (co-op, condo, kabutz), try to keep the transaction within your state/city lines. It may add fees, but it may also cut time.

Chemical Weapons and You.

My fellow humans,

There are many chemical substances on today's market that are supposed to help us smell nice for other humans. There are many levels of quality and price, and an enormous variety of scents available.

However, with great freedom of choice comes great responsibility.

Perfumes, colognes, body sprays, and the like are meant to be an olfactory treat and tease for the people that get close to you during your day. Like, really close. Arm brushing, lap sitting, ear licking close. Therefore, I must say as loudly and obnoxiously as the internet allows:


PERFUMES ARE NOT A CHEMICAL WEAPON. PLEASE USE THEM SPARINGLY.


The same applies for men and women. Boys, colognes have a lower percentage of scented liquid by volume compared to perfumes, but that is still no excuse for using half of the bottle at once.

And by the modern standards of hygiene, a bottle of cologne, aftershave, or perfume is NEVER an adequate substitution for a shower.


Overdosing on perfumes doesn't just hurt others, it can hurt you when it drives everyone else in your subway car to chuck you out between stations. Other humans can get a little cranky if they are unable to breathe.

Please stop assaulting your fellow humans, at work, at home, on the street, and on subways with perfume. Less is more.


FYI, here are some tips and instructions on how to properly apply perfume and cologne:
By Fortuna Bella & The Scented Paper.


Thank you for your time.