The Latest Links

Despite my extended break from blogging, I have found things both awe and ire inspiring all over the interwebs :-)

Imaginary Bitches on Youtube! A woman who is the last single girl in her group of friends suddenly develops a pair of imaginary friends. Friends who are total bitches. Awesome hijinks ensue. Totally free to watch this online tv show, but I wish they'd get on with season 2.

The Technique of the Love Affair. A romance self-help book penned in the 1920s, reprinted with commentary. It's a super interesting read if you are a student of history and feminism, or have a Machiavellian view on relationships. And the more things change, the more they seem to stay the same...

Rape Culture and Road Rage, on Livejournal. A conversation about rape culture, and how baby steps can go a long way towards dismantling it.

Contrary to the Myth, Abortion is NOT the Most Controversial "Choice" Issue: Words of Caution for Elena Kagan Yet another double standard. Western culture still doesn't know how to deal with women (single or otherwise) who don't want to have children.

No More Sex in the City: NYC women are going celibate - and they feel happier than ever. Um... This article has some interesting points, but is annoying overall. I don't like the NY Post's point of view that all women in their 20s will eagerly hook up with someone they met on the subway. And how two weeks without sex is some enormous personal achievement. And the last line, “But I think it’s harder to not have sex than to have sex.” Speak for yourself.

For the record, I'm not celibate, I just have standards. And so do most women in NYC. Like a friend of mine replied on Facebook, "Not having sex or a relationship is not some horrible fate that bad sex and bad relationships will somehow improve upon." Srsly.


And because 'tis the season, Doctor Who - Tenth Doctor: The Musical. No time for boys right now, it's Doctor Who season!! I'm loving Doc 11, but I am still not impressed with Moffat's ability to write female characters.

Apocalypse Me.

When I was in high school, I had tons of dreams about apocalypses (apocalypsi?). It was a different scenario every time, so I wasn't worried about it being prophetic. I always survived with the people in the dream that I liked to build a new world. Metaphorically speaking, my subconscious totally backed me up on getting out of suburban NJ. When I went to NYU the world stopped ending in my dreams, probably because I was rebuilding my life within a place and a people I liked.

Years later I'm still very affected by apocalypse fiction. There was an NYC Radio Theater production of War of the Worlds that moved me to tears. Promethea* was made of awesome and reflects how I think of "apocalypse," after studying mysticism at NYU. It's not a disaster, but a great revelation at the end of an era:

Rejoice. Your world is ended. The beliefs whereupon it was founded turn to air before the quantum scrutiny of your new science; were never truly there. Time's jail-yards are unlocked, the prison of material ambition that reduced you now demolished. Rejoice. Return now to your separate moments, selves, and rooms, and know that separation for ILLUSION. Know that you were one, were here, and in eternity are here forever. Here, where sudden firelight in your soul startled you from your worldly slumber. Stay awake.

Promethea, book 5.


And then there was last week.


Monday a blogger I read started a new short fiction blog called Apocalypse Daily, within the obvious theme.

Tuesday held another episode of The End of the World at UCB theater. It's a limited engagement improv show for the month of June, very fun so far.

Wednesday I went to an awesome Fantastic Fiction nite at KGB, where Brian Francis Slattery read/sang excerpts of his book Liberation: Being the Adventures of the Slick Six After the Collapse of the United States of America backed up by his own bluegrass band. This is the only recording of it so far, and I'm sad I didn't bring my own sneaky recording device. (And this is what the band looked like with better lighting, for reference) It was absolutely magical.

Friday, XKCD puts in a witty two cents, tho the punchline only really makes sense if you work in mathematics and/or academia (like me).


I wouldn't say I believe in Synchronicity per se. I look at the other way around: what you put out into the universe, it sometimes returns in kind or in synch. Reminding you of your own choices and plans, and things that need to be changed or finished.

So what exactly am I doing or creating to attract apocalypsi NOW?



*If anyone ever tries to make Promethea into a movie, I will handcuff myself to relevant office furniture in Hollywood until they stop. Unfortunately, I don't think Moore has control over that book anymore.

Hiatus + Adventures

Hey peeps, I'm sorry I've been off the air for a few weeks. This month I closed on my new co-op apartment, and now I'm in the middle of renovations and moving. And unfortunately real life wins out over blogging... for now...

Some fun things are happening, too (or I'd just explode). Tomorrow I'm off to join the Palimpsest train tour, and if all goes well I'll have plenty of tales and photos to share! W00t! Palimpsest is a really fun book. Not quite in the vein of what I'm trying to do here by fleshing out a Singles Agenda, but I may do a proper review later. I was vendor-ing with my jewelry biz at their book launch party/concert in Brooklyn a few weeks ago, it was ... beyond.

After I get back on Monday, I have more last minute packing to do, and then I move on Thursday and Friday. I may not be back and active on the blogosphere until April, and the first weekend of April is ICON (just as a fan girl, not a vendor ;-)

So the next few weeks will be CRAZY, and my internet presence will be inconsistent for a while. But expect tons of photos sometime in April, possibly all at once. New Orleans, Chicago, ICON, and the new apartment.

See you on the other side!

Blame it on the train

I'm taking it a bit easy this week, as next week I'll be blogathoning, and this week I'm still trying to pin down a closing date for my co-op.

Yes, a Blogathon for Singles Awareness Week! NEXT week! Sign up! Be counted and listened to!


Noticed something about my own quirks this week. I find people to be most attractive on the weekday subway commute. They're just chilling, waiting to get home, reading, listening to music. Whatever grooming they did for work or class that day is usually still active. They are less drunk and obnoxious (usually) then they are at a bar or club (less applicable to weekend travel).

On the train, most people just want to sit and be left alone to their thoughts. I think that's when a NY'ers real face and quirks emerge, because they aren't on display or on the prowl.

Unfortunately, I'm shy in social settings to begin with, so picking up strangers on the train is beyond my abilities. And I'd find it creepy if someone asked *me* out in that setting. Why can't people be so unobtrusive and relaxed in the usual social places? They are much more attractive without the drinking and shouting.

Have you ever asked out a stranger on the train? Or just started talking to one?

In which the author is extremely geeky.

As my real life is stalled out while I wait for a co-op closing date to get scheduled, I will now comfort myself in a little fantasy world full of strange tv shows and movies. Hooray!!


First, ZOMG NEW RED DWARF EPISODES!!!!! I met Robert Llewellyn, who plays Kryten, at Dragon Con 2008. I totally fangirled out and embarassed myself, but he's a very friendly person. He mentioned this at the Red Dwarf panel. At that point it was still in the "Maybe... We think so?" stages.


Second, I am starting to plan for DragonCon 2009. It's Labor Day Weekend, and I'm starting to plan in January. If you think this sounds odd, you've never been to DragonCon. It's a geek bachanalia. Four straight days of Nerdvana. The main hotels are already sold out!


Third, Edgar Wright, who directed Spaced, Shaun of the Dead, and Hot Fuzz, is working on his next film Scott Pigrim Vs. The World. I've never read the Scott Pigrim comic books, but the director's blog photos suggest he's researching a lot of kung fu and teenage romance movies. I am intrigued. I just wish he had a proper blog that wasn't on Myspace.


Fourth, season/series six of Doctor Who is shaping up to be ... different. David Tennant is definitely leaving this time, which is extra annoying, because the producers shortened series five specifically so he could stay on the show. I don't have much info on the boy they have for Doc #11, and I'm very disappointed it isn't the awesome Paterson Joseph.

I also wonder how Stephen Moffat is going to put his own mark on the Doctor Who franchise as he takes over for Russle T. Davies. Based on his earlier works (previous DW episodes and the BBC series Coupling) I have this theory:

The companion will be pretty, blonde, and blue eyed, and be totally into other women. The young looking new Doctor will turn emo because for once HE is chasing the companion. *Doctor Angst!* The episode where the companion gets the most female-on-female action in the series will be called "Inferno."

Coupling is a hillarious alternative to the American show Friends, but Moffett isn't great at writing female characters. A typical Moffat DW episode consists of a new, better female companion for the Doc, which makes the established companion very whiny. Except for "The Doctor Dances," where Captain Jack makes sure to seduce Rose and the Doc so nobody feels left out.


And now for the sad nerd news, at least for my NYC people, Kim's Video may be closing it's doors. I've heard rumors that it's moving, but it's really the last wacky video store/rental left in the East Village. The Powers That Be are slowly but surely turning St. Marks into a strip mall :-(


Geek on, my friends. And don't forget to sign up for the Singles Awareness Week Blogathon!

Playing Catch-up.

Hay guys, sorry I've been off the radar for a week. I am in the middle of trying to buy a co-op in Queens. Someday I'll put up a whole series of "How [not to] deal with NYC real estate" posts, but right now it's taken over enough of my life. Packing, pleading with bankers and lawyers, argh.

But I can give one piece of advice: DON'T get a mortgage through Bank of America, especially if you're buying something other than a standard house. Especially x2 if it's a co-op in NYC.

BoA sends ALL of their mortgage applications to an office in Tampa, FL for processing. I've had three loan reps at this office in the last two months, not counting all the people on their hotline that try to help me when my loan reps aren't at work.

Because they are in FL and not NY, my dealings with them went something like this:

(Mid December)
Sassy: When can I expect to close on the co-op, if they approve me tomorrow? My contract says late January, but my lawyer says it can be earlier.
Loan rep #1: Sure! We can probably be ready for closing the first week of January.
Sassy: Hooray!

(One week later)
Sassy: So the co-op approved me, and they need a Recognition Agreement form before we can set a closing date.
Loan rep #2: What's a Recognition Agreement? Oh, your old loan rep got sent to another department, after taking a week's worth of vacation and doing nothing with your application. Whatevs.

(First week of 2009)
Sassy: I still need that Recognition Agreement please? Can you send it to me?
Random Banker: From what I see in your file, your case has been transferred again. But that person's manager is very experienced with mortgages, so he'll probably know what you're talking about. Because I don't. What's a co-op?

(Second Week of 2009)
Loan Rep #3 (voicemail): We've mailed the R.A., but we won't say to whom. And then our phones are going to get torn up, so when you try to call back you will be redirected to the Atlanta office. :-P
Sassy's Lawyer: They sent the forms to the bank's lawyer, who sent it to the co-op, instead of to you. Without even looking at them, the co-op's lawyer says they aren't in the correct format.
BoA's Lawyer: We don't print R.A.'s in any other format than ours, so take it or leave it :-P
Co-op's Lawyer: Fine, we'll take it. But it will be another two weeks to get them from the co-op's management office to our law office :-P.

Today, the co-op's lawyer finally got the necessary documents from the bank, but don't have the results of the LIEN search, so I still don't have a closing date. I got approved by the co-op board on December 15th, and I'll be lucky if I close before February 15th. I kinda want to hit things with sticks.

Co-ops are difficult to deal with on their own, but thanks to it's mismanagement and foot-dragging, BoA has stretched my transaction out weeks longer than necessary. To add insult to injury, the interest rates have gone down since we started this long painful dance. If the other parties in this real estate deal can't settle on a closing date before late February, my mortgage offer expires anyway and I have to start from scratch.

I don't know what other parts of the U.S. are like, but if you are investing in something other than a standard house (co-op, condo, kabutz), try to keep the transaction within your state/city lines. It may add fees, but it may also cut time.

Goth Clubs FTW

I'm not big on clubbing. It's too loud for talking, and I don't drink, so all I go for is the dancing. But I do prefer one type of club-nite over another...


Standard Clubs:
-Filled to 120% of capacity = no space to really dance, just jump up-n-down in place for a while.
-$20+ cover, sometimes $40+
-$10+ shots
-VIP = $100+ ticket
+More variety of musics and dancing, some with their own floors/rooms (house, hip hop, latin, etc.)
-People bring their drinks to the dance floor = I end up covered in drinks while trying to dance.
-Dancing on stage is often for professionals only.
-Nasty smelling males filled with $100 of vodka, leering at me from the edges of the room.
-Creepy out-of-towners trying to score.
-Creepy "bridge & tunnel" males trying to score.
-Bottle service.

Goth Clubs/Nites:
+Filled to 50-90% capacity = space to dance.
+$10 or less cover
+$3+ shots
+VIP = free entry, and/or drink vouchers. But you have to qualify for VIP in some other way than $$...
+Wave/industrial/techno musics.
-Not a wide range of music between rooms, if there is more than one floor or room.
+Goths don't usually drink on the dance floor, at least not in NYC.
+ Far less leering, or leering without vendetta. It's just part of the look.
+You can dance on any surface you can climb on (except on top of the DJ's gear).
+The goth scene is so insular now that most people don't go to club nites to score- everybody already knows each other.
-Occasionally frat boys show up to try and score with "easy goth chicks." Typically they fail.
+Is easy to pick up goth/wave/industrial dances without embarassment, because everyone is so absorbed in their own dancing. Also very poorly lit.


I don't factor dress codes into either club type because there are clubs in each category that don't have 'em. But overall the outfits at goth clubs are much more fun than at normal clubs. I have outfits that function in both settings, and even more that don't work in either. I am not really a goth. I just like the music, dancing, and outfits.

For more information on Goth nites around NYC, check out New Goth City. They are a great resource for finding things to do "When You're Evil" ;-)