Friday, September 24, 2010

Seven Weeks - End of Week Two

What I have learned thus far:

-I live almost entirely within my own head.

-Reprogramming your brain and being mindful of thoughts and actions is HARD and EXHAUSTING.

-Not whoring myself out to anyone who shows up to a given event saves a lot of energy.


All of last week I was exhausted. Although there were a lot of external circumstances that could have caused it as well, like my "moon time" and the NYC change of seasons making me sleepy. And the testing of fire alarms at work.

It was really nice to go straight home after work after spending my day as a library zombie, skip my usual weekly comedy shows, and not feel like I was missing an important opportunity to go out and meet people. I also saved my energy for an improv class show on Friday that I rocked out on.

Now I have more presence of mind to plan my weeks ahead of time, making space to rest for the plans and projects I really want to be awake for. Instead of chasing half-formed notions and daydreams at all hours of the night.

Back in my nicely decluttered home, I felt no loss at sitting back at my neat desk and watching Britcoms until I felt better, or just more ready for bed.

This weekend there was a lot of family problems that left me even more exhausted, so I have not been up for much blogging. Or anything, really. But once again being home to recuperate was not a big deal.

So far a life of celibacy means having less interest or desire in being out late with people. Or out at all. That means catching up on me time. And sleep, glorious sleep!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

So "Man Hater" isn't necessarily accurate...

Feminism and Romance Go Hand In Hand.

Contrary to popular opinion, feminism and romance are not incompatible and feminism may actually improve the quality of heterosexual relationships, according to Laurie Rudman and Julie Phelan, from Rutgers University in the US. Their study* also shows that unflattering feminist stereotypes, that tend to stigmatize feminists as unattractive and sexually unappealing, are unsupported.


Not quite what I go for on this blog, but good to know if you like that sort of thing ;-)

Friday, September 17, 2010

Seven Weeks of Celibacy

Vow of Celibacy! Yes!

For the last few weeks I've poked at my brain. Most parts of my life and outlook don't add up anymore. I have so many fun projects to work on that aren't getting done. Something unrecognized is making me mopey and unfocused and insecure.

It culminated during a nighttime girl-talk session at one of the comedian bars last weekend. We were talking about chasing boys, and the earnest scab-picking session that always goes along with these conversations.

And I was not having fun.

I looked back over the last few months, and years, and then as far back as I could remember. For one period of my life it was fun having a boyfriend, but I have never actually enjoyed chasing boys.

To my shock, I realized that most of my thoughts and activities for the last few months have been geared towards chasing, attracting, or ingratiating myself to prospective mates. Every time I made myself up to look cute, or stayed out late with friends, or went to new events, it was often in the hopes of getting matched or picked up. This never actually happened, and I was frequently dissatisfied about my life.

After years of being (as one friend described me) fiercely independent I'm not sure where this switch to codependency happened in light of not having an actual person to be codependent with. And these new behaviors coincided with a loss of focus, increasing problems with sleep and time management, and several personal projects falling apart or not getting started. Especially this blog, because the thought of being a Neo-Spinster became less alluring than... what? Being picked up in a bar by a slimy alcoholic? WTF!


What happens if I start living singly on purpose, again? In NLP terms I'm not giving anything up or making sacrifices, but re-framing my outlook on life. Like I said, boy-chasing has never been a pleasurable activity for me, so why not replace it with things that will be fun?

From now until Samhain (aka Halloween), I will be celibate. Roughly seven weeks. Like a mental/emotional detox to try and get back to the way I was when I started this blog, but without the Zoloft. And I hope to figure out why this happened in the first place so I can prevent it from derailing my life again ;-)

As always, Your Mileage May Vary.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Sass Is Back, All Right!

The NYC summer is drifting away! Temperatures have dipped back below 80 degrees! The think-y cells in my head work again!

Just in time for my standard allergy season. Pow. Whups. Think-y brain juice halted by an equal and opposite force of goo from my sinuses.

So I'm here, and typing, and ready to sass again. But I'm going to work on some of these posts for a few more days as the medicines wear off. Just to make sure I'm not proofreading under the influence :-)

Luv Sassy!
*sniffle*

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Sassy Needs a Recharge

I am a bad blogger this summer. Internet self promotion is all about consistency, and in that respect I am totally made of fail. Although I put up an invitation to send me blog topics a few weeks ago and nobody responded, so I'm sure my quiet is unnoticed by the world at large.


What I've been doing instead of blogging:
Coming to terms with an illness in the family.

Decluttering and cleaning my house. Like, a lot.

Working on my budget skillz.

Developing a sleep budget.

Cooking things without heat. So... more like mixing, I guess.

Taking improv comedy classes.

Seeing lots of shows.

Taking lots of comedy show photos.

Sometimes posting those photos on the internet. Argh, backlog.

Gardening!

Studying Neuro Linguistic Programming.

Studying astrology.

Performing tons of tarot readings.

Taking the Pill.

Abstaining from use of makeup and contact lenses, because my eyes hurt!

Wearing sun dresses.

Wearing old slips/negligee as sun dresses.

Boggling at how much money people spend on overpriced brand name gadgets.

Preparing for DRAGONCON!!!!!

So... this was going to be a "I'm on a blogger break," announcement, but of course listing these things out gives me ideas for new posts. Posts that might be out of season by after Labor Day weekend. In that case, if your Sass reception may seem spotty and inconsistent until early September, do not adjust your set. I'm just taking a sass-nap ;-)

How is your summer vacation/staycation/wageslavery going this year?

Friday, July 9, 2010

Spinster Has Run Out of Sassy

Maybe it is the summer doldrums (or the Summer Soul Flu), but I am exhausted. Thus, lack of blogging.


But it is Friday! Here, have some links. I've been trying to psych myself up to do some de-cluttering by looking at home improvement type blogs ;-)

Tiny-Ass Apartment
. Like Apartment Therapy, only this blog is actually about APARTMENTS and not expensive houses with tons of space. Why do you do that, AT?

Lovely Undergrad
. Like the aforementioned TAA, but with a college life spin. Adorbs!

Ikea Hacker. Almost handmade, always much fun.


Happy Weekend! Stay cool!

Friday, July 2, 2010

Spinster Links!

On Interpersonal Badness - You Are Worthless, Lets Be Friends. Reminds me of a crazy social group I got out of a few years ago. But I wonder how often we all act like this without realizing?


Panic, Meditation, and the Dilettante. I also don't get around to meditating every day, but that is mostly due to bad time management skills. Maybe I need a Pagan life coach.


Best Friend Rape Prevention. Trigger warnings. I agree with the author, "Random goons on the street and invading homes have nothing statistically on friends, dates, and partners." So how does a person apply stranger-rape prevention advice in a familiar environment?


Why 'Female' Science Professor?
"Why the extra adjective? Does it matter in my work as a scientist and a professor that I am female? Many times it does."


Of girls and geeks: Environment may be why women don't like computer science. But ... I like Star Trek posters? Still an interesting experiment.


Sign of the Times: Barbie's a Tech Geek. I'm still not sure how to respond to this. Tho I'm surprised she's not a Mac user.


How My Little Pony Turned a Little Girl Into a Computer Scientist
. So Matel was off by one franchise ;-)


Fashion and the Female Geek, First Steps. "...I can address not only how to be taken seriously as a ‘front-line geek feminist’ – but also how to maintain a standard of comfort that is (quite frankly) essential to a woman who has plenty of ‘geeky’ passions that occupy her time and keep her on her biologically-accurate toes."