Take Back Halloween!

Take Back Halloween: a costume guide for women with imagination!

Not a store, but a page of fun costume ideas and suggestions for people who are bored with pre-packaged spandex "sexy" costumes. Or those who miss the days of building a fun costume out of flannel bedsheets ;-)


OK, I'm actually wearing spandex for my Shadowcat costume this year, but it is normal everyday durable dancer spandex + some Salvation Army finds. And it goes with my boots!

The beast I used to be, WEEK FOUR!

This was definitely a good idea for me.

The first few weeks were rough due to mind-reprogramming. Plus allergies and SAD smacked me upside the head so I wasn't feeling so great about anything. But last week, despite continuing seasonal problems, things really stared coming together:

In the last month I've organized an improv practice group, joined and helped with another, and there is one other new improv project still in the "maybe" phase. WIN!

My new improv class is served with a side of EPICsauce.

Last week, I managed to pack a lunch for every day of the week. That is a LOT more focus than I can usually muster.

Mostly catching up with my sleep but the new work schedule is getting in my way.

Decreased libido, because clumsy attempts to satisfy it are no longer the central focus of my life.

This year's crop of grad students at the library are adorable, but I don't care as much as I used to.

I'm OK being home alone for many evenings, and don't feel like I'm missing out on some enormous social opportunity. Instead I catch up on Britcoms and Pandora.

More time for jewelry work, which I've finally pulled back out of the closet! Huzzah!

Makeup? What's that?

I did take strides to de-frump my wardrobe this summer, so I still look mostly presentable without trying very hard.

The physical trend towards hibernation is still a problem, so I might keep this going from Samhain until Yule to see what happens when I'm not so sleepy.

Working on more conventional romance-seeking methods really did make me stressed and unhappy (YMMV). Comedy practices and classes with my friends are generally more fun for me than bar hopping, so I will focus on that as my social outlets.

I'm really not missing out on anything due to this shift of focus. The only offers I've had all year have been "Hi, I'm rebounding! Can I use you?" back in the spring and, um, no thanks. I did make the dumb mistake on one of those cases but the rest were no problem to deflect. I like my self-respect a lot more, and now I'm getting it back :-)

Do you have my size in black?

For years I have skirted the fringes of alt-cultures. I rarely had the focus or energy to commit to any one in particular. It took me years to finally pick up the big black boots I adore. Two years ago I made an effort to buy clothes in colors other than black, but it turned out to be a hassle.

This month I stopped worrying about balancing a wardrobe that is at least 75% dark colors. I'm still being super lazy about makeup, if I wear any at all. Clothing takes a bit less time to deal with in the morning with a narrower color palette.

One problem is that black clothing blends together in a dresser drawer, and its easy to forget what you've got left before laundry day. And one black t-shirt looks much like another, in the dresser or on the body. So I will play with the subtle differences between garments and my jewelry skillz.

And I rediscovered Pandora. My Sisters of Mercy station is great so far. Its a wonderful service if you're too shy to ask club DJs what it is they're playing, although I don't know how far Pandora will deviate from the mainstream. There are also online radio stations for good goth music, although my wonky home internet connection makes them less fun.

It definitely helps that I'm experimenting with a celibate lifestyle, so the phrase "dress to impress" is suspended for now. Focusing on appearance is superficial as transformations go, but still a helpful step towards rediscovering old lifestyles and interests. Although I'm still not sure where the divide is between "Person that likes wearing black" and "Goth," I plan to investigate. Maybe I'm a subculture of one, and that is OK with me.

Big comfy boots are clearly the source of my power.

Spinster Links!

On Interpersonal Badness - You Are Worthless, Lets Be Friends. Reminds me of a crazy social group I got out of a few years ago. But I wonder how often we all act like this without realizing?


Panic, Meditation, and the Dilettante. I also don't get around to meditating every day, but that is mostly due to bad time management skills. Maybe I need a Pagan life coach.


Best Friend Rape Prevention. Trigger warnings. I agree with the author, "Random goons on the street and invading homes have nothing statistically on friends, dates, and partners." So how does a person apply stranger-rape prevention advice in a familiar environment?


Why 'Female' Science Professor? "Why the extra adjective? Does it matter in my work as a scientist and a professor that I am female? Many times it does."


Of girls and geeks: Environment may be why women don't like computer science. But ... I like Star Trek posters? Still an interesting experiment.


Sign of the Times: Barbie's a Tech Geek. I'm still not sure how to respond to this. Tho I'm surprised she's not a Mac user.


How My Little Pony Turned a Little Girl Into a Computer Scientist. So Matel was off by one franchise ;-)


Fashion and the Female Geek, First Steps. "...I can address not only how to be taken seriously as a ‘front-line geek feminist’ – but also how to maintain a standard of comfort that is (quite frankly) essential to a woman who has plenty of ‘geeky’ passions that occupy her time and keep her on her biologically-accurate toes."

I Like Big Boots and I Cannot Lie

I'm not much of a shoe girl, nor am I much concerned with fashion. I've been on a lifelong quest to find one set of footwear that can be worn with anything, so I never have to go shoe shopping ever again. These are the best I've ever had!


Last June I finally ordered the pair of Doc Martens I've wanted for years, with an online discount code from a friend. Both friend and boots are awesome.

I skirt the edges of the Goth and other alt scenes, so these boots go with almost everything I own. And I wear them with everything I can. Skirts, dresses, ballgowns, jeans, slacks, business and casual. They zip up the side so I don't spend hours lacing them. And as my friend with the discount recommended, they are great to wear under boot cut jeans when it's rainy out. My ankles are warm and dry, winter and summer.

Friends thought I was crazy to break them in during the peak of NYC summer, but they were ready to go by the time fall and winter kicked in. I wear them all year round anyway ;-)

Early this year one of the zippers wore out and cost $30 to repair. But I love these boots and that is a lot less than buying a new pair. Worth it! And a general rule of thumb for clothing repair - why buy something new when you can fix what something you already love?


As the last girl in my social networks to get a pair of awesome Docs I had plenty of advice to go on:

-Pre-buying of boots, if you are buying them online with a discount code, first go to a shoe store and try on the same style in your size.

-Upon obtaining your boots, stock up on sturdy band-aids in a wide variety of sizes. Breakin' in is hard to do.

-Second, put the squishy insoles inside. Worth the extra $$!

-Third, wear them every day with socks for a week or so. Boot socks are good if it's not too hot outside, but even plain white crew socks work fine. They will give you extra protection from getting your feet and ankles roughed up. (Actually, I still usually wear ankle high socks with my Docs, its not like anybody can see. Best tip ever, wear socks *under* fishnets with your boots!)

-Fourth, pick up some sticky-backed moleskin pads from the drug store and cover any sharp/rough bits inside the shoe. It may take a couple of days to pinpoint where they all are.

-Fifth, don't take any s#$% from anybody, because you could kick their faces in with your awesome boots.


Happy anniversary, boots!

Kiss and Makeup

It's Summertime, according to the campus calendar. Despite the unseasonably cold/wet spell that hit NYC this month, people aren't wearing giant overcoats anymore. It is nice to have something to look at when I can't focus on whatever book I have with me :-)

Been pondering, as always. I've always turned my head at more women than men in the streets, but in practice I'm bi-curious at most.

The "why" of it finally struck me last week. It's not that women are more attractive then men. Although IMHO the female physique is naturally more attractive & interesting to look at. There's a wider variety of shapes and sizes that develop independently of how many Twinkies we've eaten, and the male physique mostly just expands and contracts via latitude and longitude. (Shapes, I need shapes!) But I digress.

Women may or may not be more attractive than men naturally, but we definitely work harder on our appearances collectively. It's not that men don't try to look their best. I live in NYC, boys definitely know how to dress up (and put on too much cologne :-P). But the average male almost never wears makeup unless it rubs off on him from a female.

I think that's really the base of it. 200 years ago things were different, but in the 21st Century most men don't wear makeup or constrictive, shaping undergarments. And true, women don't have to wear this stuff if they don't want to. Many don't, and still look awesome. But when was the last time you saw a cosmetics company put out an eyeshadow/mascara line for the average male? Or the makers of girdles and tummy-tucking pantyhose? Or home waxing kits? Occasionally I'll see a man in a corset (HAWT) but those aren't your average dudes on the street (sad).


So overall, women are more attractive on the street because they make more of an effort than men. Some want to, but I wonder how many feel they have to? There's a trillion dollar makeup & clothing industry more than happy to back up that work ethic.

It's pleasant to look at, but I'm not sure I like the subtext :-/

Also, I would like to see more girl-loving men in corsets and makeup pls.

Singles Awareness Week, day three

Today was severely lame. But while the co-op situation continues towards disaster, everyone on my team is working hard to fix it. Yay for that.

I've been working on an outfit/costume for an event later in the month, so today I gave myself a small dose of retail therapy. I gained about 20 lbs. over the last six months, and was having severe body image issues because none of my clothes fit. But now I have a new sexxy green skirt/dress from American Apparel, and I [superficially] feel better about life.

My tips about retail therapy:

• Go with a shopping list. "I need a green skirt." "I need 2 pairs of slacks for work."
  
• Hunt specifically, don't graze vaguely. You'll buy stuff you don't need, and feel guilty later.
• New items adapt better to the herd if introduced one or two at a time.
• Take stock of what you have before you buy new stuff, to make sure you don't already have one, and that everything matches in some way.
• Unclutterer fans also suggest getting rid of something old after you buy something new.

Now may not be the best time for me to buy more clothes (moving, investing, economy, ect.) but dammit, none of my skirts fit! I will probably do another closet purge before the move, but keep a few pieces to reverse-engineer into larger pieces later. Yay for my new sewing machine, if I ever get the chance to unpack it.


Another nice point about being single, I only have to feel comfy in my own skin. I'm under no pressure to look pleasing to anyone else, tho I like to look pleasing for myself at most times. And as long as I'm wearing clothes that fit, I feel quite sexy. When I see that person in the mirror looking back at me, I know I'm going home with someone super hawt that night ;-)