If I wasn't quite so addled on cold meds, I might try and take part in this, but for now I'll just post about how awesome it is:
Lessons for Girls
Much savvier lady bloggers than I expounding on lessons they wish they'd learned before they grew up. Hopefully to help influence a new generation of highly awesome women.
The part that struck home for me was this from Lesson 8 "You don't have to be a mom," although not strictly in the vein of reproductive rights:
As a child, I recall adults asking my brother what he wanted to be when he grew up, listening to him sagely, then turning to me and flatly declaring, “I know what you want to be: a MOMMY!” And when I denied this desire, I have always been told, with a patronizing “what-a-silly-girl!” smile, “Oh, you’ll change your mind!” I was told I would change my mind when I grew up; then I was told I would change my mind when I met the right man; then, that I would change my mind when I settled down; that I would change my mind overnight when my “biological clock” suddenly started ticking; that I would change my mind when my friends had babies; even that I would change my mind after I had tenure. When confident assertions of my hidden maternal nature proved inadequate, the appeals to conscience began. I was told that I must have children for the sake of my future old age, for the sake of the human race, for the sake of perpetuating progressive values, for the sake of passing on my own intelligent genes (this last from my mom).
I got similar reactions from some friends when I started this blog project. And some of them aren't my friends anymore. In this way, I also connect pretty strongly with Lesson 2 "Opting Out."
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4 comments:
I've considered myself CF since high school, and it's always been intimidating to hear grownups tell me that I'll change my mind about having kids when I'm older. It's like they were warning me that I would hit a certain age marker and suddenly my values and priorities would change and I'd just be all uterus. I'll be 25 in August and so far, nothing's changed.
I understand being ChildFree, Jase and I are at this point. I like the fact that we have the right to choose to have them eventually or not at all. But I kind of don't dig the CF snark. say i choose to have a child, will that make me a "stupid moo" with a "rotten crotchdropling" I have seen these terms bandied about on Childfree blogs.
I would love to be a Mother when I want to be. It is beautiful.
Kisses.
Mostly from that article I connected with being annoyed at tons of people being so dismissive of my feelings, because I don't think I need to be coupled to be happy. "Don't worry, you'll meet the right man and change your mind!" Yuck. It always strikes me as a very insecure move, to belittle others who are doing well with decisions that aren't your own. And I see people on both sides of the CF argument do the same thing. *sigh*
I'm more "live and let live" with regard to CF. I might like to have children someday, but it's a lot of work, and I wouldn't make that decision lightly or accidentally. If I don't have my own kids, it's not a big deal. It takes a village to raise a child.
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