Monday, December 1, 2008

Chemical Weapons and You.

My fellow humans,

There are many chemical substances on today's market that are supposed to help us smell nice for other humans. There are many levels of quality and price, and an enormous variety of scents available.

However, with great freedom of choice comes great responsibility.

Perfumes, colognes, body sprays, and the like are meant to be an olfactory treat and tease for the people that get close to you during your day. Like, really close. Arm brushing, lap sitting, ear licking close. Therefore, I must say as loudly and obnoxiously as the internet allows:


The same applies for men and women. Boys, colognes have a lower percentage of scented liquid by volume compared to perfumes, but that is still no excuse for using half of the bottle at once.

And by the modern standards of hygiene, a bottle of cologne, aftershave, or perfume is NEVER an adequate substitution for a shower.

Overdosing on perfumes doesn't just hurt others, it can hurt you when it drives everyone else in your subway car to chuck you out between stations. Other humans can get a little cranky if they are unable to breathe.

Please stop assaulting your fellow humans, at work, at home, on the street, and on subways with perfume. Less is more.

FYI, here are some tips and instructions on how to properly apply perfume and cologne:
By Fortuna Bella & The Scented Paper.

Thank you for your time.

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